Friday, October 30, 2009

China Invites Korean Leader, Suspected Zombie

CNN reports today that China has invited North Korean Leader, Kim Jong Il for a diplomatic visit.

Mostly known for his daring wardrobe choices, Kim also arouses suspicion of zombiehood, owing to his constant use of large dark glasses. Some believe this is to hide the tell-tale signs of the scourge.

As North Korea's closest neighbor, and a rare political ally, China is naturally curious to know whether furthering relations with Kim is tantamount to inviting the curse of the undead upon China's one-billion-plus population.

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao frustratedly reports, "We can't get the man to take off the damn glasses. We tried dark conference rooms, tours of underground nuclear facilities, nothing works! Perhaps at dinner tonight, I will learn the truth."

Kim's reluctance only adds fuel to the fire of this controversy. "We are happy to expand relations with our closest neighbor, China, and to be able to pick the brains of their finest leaders," Kim replied when asked about the visit.

His personal aide interrupts to wipe Kim's chin of some apparent detritus. "If you will excuse me, I am having the Premier and his family for dinner tonight. I understand his wife has exquisite taste."

No further talks have been scheduled at this time.

11 comments:

Mama Dawg said...

Hmmmmm......you know, the evidence is starting to pile up on him.

I'm not 100% on board with this one yet, but I'll keep watching.

Jess said...

It doesn't take long to convence me!! I am all about a good zombie conspiracy!!!!

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

Awesome.

Captain Dumbass said...

There's always been something funny about those North Korean. And not funny ha ha.

LucyCooper said...

Better check to see if he has cloven hooves

Middle Aged Woman said...

Mama Dawg - what, you want to wait until he's got his teeth in your ankle?

Jess - that's my girl

Jenny - high praise indeed, from someone who knows from zombies

Cap'n - Funny Canadian?

Lucy - why didn't I think of that? Damn. Off with the shoes.

Michele said...

That explains so many oddities.

Mama Dawg said...

MAW-he'd have to find me first.

True Blue Texan said...

This does explain so very, very much. Good catch, guys. Now if the MSM would only pick this up. But alas, their anti-zombie bias is too powerful.

Keely said...

The dark glasses is the key? What does that say about Lady Gaga then?

booshy said...

First, I have nothing technically against any race but...
what is it with Chinese and leaving off the "s?"

"You want eggroll?"

"You been here 4 hour!" (I've never figured out if they're telling me 'four hours' or 'forever.')