Richmond, British Columbia - What's bigger than a picnic basket and even better than one in the eyes of zombies that live in the western provinces of Canada?
A study published this month in the Journal of the Undead says it's minivans driven by families with children who leave behind a trail of spilled juice boxes, Cheerios and coolers carrying other snacks.
Canadian scientists have found that zombies tore up older minivans more frequently than other types of vehicles. They found that minivans represented 29 percent of the vehicles torn into by zombies between 2001 and 2007.
"I though it would be the most practical vehicle for our family," said Chad Tordoff, who recently had to fight off three of the undead with his 16th century ninja sword, "and can we please call it a man-van?"
No word from the zombie community was readily available, except that the moaning of the cursed increases significantly at the name "Dodge Caravan."
The RCMP are asking Canadian drivers to select alternative vehicles. "Who wants to be seen in a mini-van, anyway?" said an RCMP Trooper who wished to remain anonymous, owing to his familial relationship with Mr. Tordoff.
8 comments:
I thought I heard that zombies only moan over the SXT model. Must be the 8-way power driver's seat.
i gotta admit, i bah-hah'd at man-van....
Now that's just mean spirited.
Now it makes sense. I better be careful with my Caravan in case those Zombies are seasonal..
In my research is appears that the man van is impervious to Zombie attack. It has something to do with its bullet/vacuum like shape that deters them. More research will need to be done.
Did the research include Honda Elements? Is there a statistical bonus or debt for ugliness of the vehicle? And, are we saddened the minivan operators are more frequent targets? Isn't that a good thing?
Michele - even the undead appreciate a good ride.
Michel - thank you.
Captain - see "Michel"
SK - They started in Haiti, you know. Much closer to you than us.
Jess - And you are just the woman to take on that research project.
Long Odds - If it was the ugliest vehicles, the Ford Flex people would be long gone. And the Pontiac Aztec.
Yet another reason to embrace being middle-aged ... the mini-vans are history for us! There is no way they are overtaking my gas-guzzling Expedition.
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